Grifter Is Ridiculous. I Love It. Payday 3

Welcome to Payday 3. The game where chains are not in the pickle, the servers work flawlessly, and the greatest robbery is your wallet, but this article isn't about this game's Rocky launch; it's about a particularly silly skill tree called Grifter. Well, let me introduce you. For those uninitiated, the grifter skill tree is basically like graduating with honors in [__] 101.

Yes, I do belong here. Yes, I am allowed to take this picture without an actual guard or a camera. Seeing you do it, you have basically free rein to do whatever you want. Once I realized how absolutely insane this was, I set out on a mission: could I do a jewelry heist on Overkill without ever putting my mask on?

The answer was yes. My first target was obviously the front room. This room is probably the hardest on the level, with plenty of cameras and a guard watching. In a group, you'd have enough people to loop all these cameras and have someone mind where the guard is, but by myself, I was limited to two loops and watching out for the guard.

I took my time with the front room and grabbed everything, not nailed down, running it out the front to the van with zero. After dropping off another bag, I stopped by the back alley to grab a QR code I'll need later. Don't ask why this phone with an important security code is just sitting out here; the developers don't know either, so I continue my pilfering of the front.

Room, this man watches me steal the jewelry right in front of him, but he's distracted thinking about the next [__] coin he's going to invest in, both in solo and casing mode. I couldn't really convince the manager to open the workshop, so I had to skip out on cleaning the jewelry or getting the giant Stone, the guard watched me start lockpicking a case, but I stopped, which means I learned my lesson while I was running a bag.

I noticed a guard along my path. How nice of him to make sure I'm safe. After picking up the last scraps of valuables from the front room, it was time to head around to the back for the good stuff. As I warmed my way into the manager's office, I stole another QR code. I got another from the bathroom too.

Just because I like stealing stuff, a curious little guy lets me scan the QR code to enter the VIP room, but because I'm a curious little guy, he lets me off with the warning. Move it stay out of the restricted areas. I got it. He tells me not to come back; there's the guard. I took his advice, checked the computer, and learned that the code for the basement is in the VIP room.

A guard watches me as I peer into the room, but he thinks I'm cute and he's shy, so he turns away those displays; it'll set the alarm. He even steals a glance at my ass for good measure. Hacking the camera, I enter the room. The woman tending to the jewelry watches me steal it right in front of her; she must think I'm borrowing it.

As I'm leaving the room, I accidentally smash the lead guard in the back of the head with the door. He thinks nothing of it; it must have been the C. I waddle past him, stealing his key card because red is my favorite color, and disabled VIP and security. I don't even need to do this; I just like taking pictures of things.

I shouldn't a guard literally watches me come out of the VIP area, but due to his advanced brain rot from watching too many amaranth hot tub streams, he doesn't remember my face, so he escorts me out without any further problems. A guard watches me walk out of a restricted area with a duffel bag in my back, but I made it past the door frame, so it's okay.

My friendly Alyu guard is here to greet me. I give him a boop on the snot, and as I pass by. I realize this whole bag The journey would be easier if I just waled out the door connected to the front, displayed clearly she's in the first stage of grieving, denied one more cheeky reach around later, and I'm on my way out.

I see my favorite guard again and give him another boop on the snoot, and just like that, I cleaned out the jewelry store without ever actually putting a mask on. I recorded this article like a month ago; it took forever to edit it, and this game still hasn't gotten an update.